This is how Everton make me feel

PS The dog is for illustration purposes only. Obviously it's not a real picture of me or the fact I could a) write a blog and b) understand football would be simply amazing

Dyche or Big Sam Look Most Likely For Everton

Give me those cough sweets now

What a season it's been so far for Everton fans! It all looked so good over the summer with Europe to look forward too and around £100 million spent on top players (and Sandro Ramirez) in the transfer window. Since the very first game though it has all come crashing down with the team looking like they have never actually seen each other before, let alone training together all week.

The upshot of this is that manager Ronald Koeman was shown the door recently and took a plane back to the land of clogs and tulips. While he cries into his Edam, two main replacements have come to the fore as possible new Toffees managers:

Sean Dyche

Currently doing a fine job at Burnley is Sean Dyche. This has led many to see him as the most natural man to step into the vacant dug-out at Everton. He would certainly fit the bill of what Everton need and want from their new boss - his teams are no-nonsense, hard to beat and would quickly grind out results to move up the table.

Unfortunately, they are also about as exciting as Time Team to watch. Plus, Dyche is like a football version of Whispering Bob Harris who you can't actually hear most of the time in interviews. Croaking away, lord knows how he will tell the players who is playing that week or what he wants them to do! Still they might have some Strepsils in Liverpool to help!

What do you mean we signed Davy Klaassen?!!

Sam Allardyce

Ask me why Big Sam should manage my club (yes I do support Everton) and the answer is simple:

HE DRINKS PINTS OF WINE FFS!!!

How can you deny something so epic being present at your football club?! He is also a bloody good manager and would soon sort out our team of divas and fancy dans who don't appear to want to put a proper shift in when out on the pitch! An expert at rescuing teams that are a bit rubbish, he would have us battling and defending like no tomorrow.

Only time will tell who gets it (and it might not be either) but the local off licence is stocking up bottles of Blue Nun in case the Big Man gets the call!